


Couple's Counseling

by Boozey_St_John



Category: Biohazard | Resident Evil (Gameverse)
Genre: Annoyed Leon, Annoying Chris, Arguing, Bickering, Chris and his antics, Comedy, M/M, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-14 01:34:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14760065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boozey_St_John/pseuds/Boozey_St_John
Summary: Leon and Chris are forced to go couple's therapy because everyone has had enough of their constant bickering. Unfortunately, the bickering just doesn't stop at home, they take it to the session and it gets ugly.





	Couple's Counseling

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a while back but never got around to posting it. It seems to be missing a certain 'j'e ne se quoi.' 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy!

The smell of fresh coffee lingered in the waiting area. Chris lazily flipped through the outdated issue of a sports magazine, while Leon scrolled through his numerous emails. Neither men had signed up for couples’ counseling nor did they even consider it. Had it not been for Jill and Claire forcing them to attend a session, they’d still be home- yelling, insulting, and hurling various items at each other. Well, mostly Leon throwing various items at Chris. To Chris, Leon’s anger was humorous. The younger man was so easy to rile up that Chris just couldn’t help himself sometimes. 

A young woman stepped out of her office. Grabbing the file from her assistant’s desk, she looked down at Chris and Leon; this was going to be an interesting couple. The woman greeted the couple and invited them in. Once he was standing, Chris held his hand out for Leon, who graciously accepted it. *Princess* Chris thought they made their way into the plain white office, quickly taking a seat on the leather couch angled from the cherry wood desk. Leon quickly scooching away from his annoying lover. 

The door closed and the young woman made her to the desk. Folded hands rested on the surface and she cleared her throat. 

Katherine. Apparently, her name was Katherine. 

After introducing themselves the session began. 

“Leon? Chris?” Katherine began “Can you tell me why you’re here?” She pulled out a notepad from her desk drawer. Brown and blue eyes glared at each other before the former blonde answered. “This man” he pointed to Chris “is driving me insane! We argue every day! Everyday because he does or says something stupid! He’s a slob, he’s an idiot, he’s just… Just…Ugh!” The agent choked on his words, his anger already present. Chris’ eyes went wide as a wave of defensiveness overcame him.

“You’re not so perfect yourself, Mr. Kennedy! You’re uptight, sensitive, neurotic, and unstable! When you’re not cleaning- you’re yelling! When you’re not yelling- you’re cleaning! Also, you’re a drunk! A mean, vicious drunk-” 

“I’M NOT A DRUNK!” interrupted Leon. His blue eyes narrowed at Chris before looking at the therapist with pleading eyes. 

“He's a drunk,” Chris repeated feigning concern to the therapist. He was silenced with a punch on the shoulder from Leon. 

“That's violent!” Chris exclaimed with wide eyes.

“STOP CALLING ME A DRUNK!”

Okay, so maybe Chris embellished the drunk part. Serves Leon right. How did he like being dragged through the mud? 

The couple began talking over each other, soon, the talking became bickering which turned into full-blown arguing; sentences incoherent and undecipherable. She was able to catch Chris mentioning Leon getting rid of something that was sentimental to the muscular man.

“Yeah Leon? What else do you want to get rid of?! Do you want to get rid of the cat too? How about we get rid of everything your mom gifted us?” The older man taunted. Now he was clearly pushing Leon’s buttons. 

“YOU! I wanna get rid of YOU” Leon shouted at his, for lack of a better term, lover. The newly dyed brunette looked over at Katherine who had a puzzled expression on her face. “I’m sorry,” Leon began “I know I shouldn’t yell but that’s the only way I can talk because he doesn’t shut the…” he caught himself “, you know what, up.” He took a deep breath as he watched the young woman scribble something down on her pad. 

“Use your inside voice, Leon.” Chris smirked to himself, he knew Leon would fly off the handle, making him look stark raving mad. “Here’s the deal.” He started. “Leon has always been jealous of me. He’s always wanted to be me. He wants to be good looking like me, in shape like me, you name it and he wants it. Why do you think he’s dying his hair brown all of a sudden?” 

Leon’s jaw clenched his face now a deep shade of red due to embarrassment. So what if he dyed his hair? Plenty of men did. Besides, the blonde was becoming too much of a hassle anyway- not to mention, the constant bleaching was damaging his hair. 

“HANG ON!” Leon raised his voice again when Chris attempted to talk over him again. “I’M TALKING!” He snapped at the older man sitting next to him. “I dyed it for you. Remember, you *LOVE* brunettes? But of course when I try to please you, it’s never enough, is it? But if it was your precious Piers, you’d have no problem with it.” The former blonde remarked as he raised his eyebrow smugly. Yeah, he went there. 

The muscular man’s brown eyes went wide at the mention of his young understudy. “We were broken up! You were with that Michael guy doing whatever you two did! I was lonely and Piers was there.” Chris explained to the therapist. He then went into detail about Piers and how their relationship developed before Edonia. He explained how Piers risked his life to save him while in China. Luckily, the BSAA was able to rescue the young sniper and reverse most of the virus with an antidote made from Jake’s blood. 

“Piers was 24 at the time! You're more than a decade older than him, you pervert!” Leon pointed out. 

“What’s your excuse for Krauser then, Mr. Righteous? He was in his 40’s when he left you, meanwhile, you were 27…” He raised a bow in a smug manner. Leon blushed when Chris revealed his relationship with Krauser to the therapist. 

Katherine interrupted the couple as the argument started to further escalate. She offered the two some water which Leon accepted while Chris denied. The younger man gulped down half of the water down then set it on the end table beside the couch. 

There was a moment of awkward silence before Katherine broke the silence. 

“What do you hope to accomplish here?” She asked cautiously. She was truly at a loss for words. Neither man had an answer. Exactly what did they hope to accomplish? 

“I know…” Chris began. “... In order for us to continue this relationship, Leon’s got to work on his jealousy, his insecurities, and he has to learn to trust me. Do I love him?”... Chris’ voice trailed off and Leon looked directly at him, holding his breath as he waited for Chris to answer. 

“Well?” the slender brunette questioned, his voice weak; nearly pleading. It felt like forever before Chris answered. Leon wondered if Chris actually had to think about it. Memories flooded Leon's mind. Maybe he shouldn't have been so hard on his lover. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to throw things, spew insults, and destroy Chris’ clothing. 

“Yes.” Came the response after what felt like an eternity. “I love coming home to him, knowing that even if I had a bad day, just seeing his face makes everything better. I love our lazy days spent on the couch cuddling watching SpongeBob…” 

Leon blushed. It was his guilty pleasure. 

“...I love listening to him sing along to Frank Ocean or George Michael when he’s driving. I love Leon for being Leon.” Chris confessed; a moment of clarity washed over him. Leon’s eyes slowly trailed up. He fought to hold back the tears. 

Katherine smiled as she listened to Chris. Clearly, he would do anything to save his relationship with Leon. “Leon?” She turned her attention to the emotional brunette. “What do you love about Chris?”

 

“His spirit. He's always joking, doing something stupid to put a smile on my face… When he calls me up and uses this stupid accent to ask me on a date, usually to go bowling. His grandmother, Ethel, no matter how annoying she can be.” The brunette admitted with a smitten smile on his face. “Chris,” Leon whispered looking into his lover’s chocolate eyes. “no more arguments, no more fighting, no more violence. I promise.” Leon promised as he interlaced his fingers with Chris’. They both knew that promise would be broken in less than a few hours. 

The sound of a 'ding’ ruined the moment. Both men looked at the therapist, confusion written on their faces. 

“Well guys, I'm glad you reconciled but that's all the time we have,” Katherine concluded as she flipped her notepad closed. 

Hand in hand, the two men rose from the couch, love, and passion in their eyes. As they headed for the door they turned around when Katherine softly placed her hand on the door. 

“May I make a suggestion?” She asked sweetly. The couple nodded in agreement. 

“See someone else. You're both batshit crazy.” She opened the door for the couple, allowing them to exit the office. 

The door quickly slammed shut, leaving the two in shock. 

“Let's go home.” Leon purred with his arms now wrapped around Chris. Nodding in agreement, they exited the building making their way to Chris’ truck. Once they hit the road, a smile came to Chris’ face. 

“I think I have a better idea, Sugar Foot.” Chris held in a giggle. Leon questioned his lover until he couldn't hold back anymore.

“You should visit, Ethel. I promised that you'd take her out to lunch and join her for bingo.” he laughed as Leon began his barrage of insults while cursing him out.


End file.
